Whoakay.

I had little impulse to return to school in the morning. I didn't know what to wear in the morning. I got to school late in the morning. The nice Asian known as Sam opened the door for me. Walking, walking through eerily lit hallways to my classroom. One of the sluts, the one who wrote me a note, was not there today, I hope it stays that way. Sadly though, the dumb blonde was there. But it all turned out for the good because she got her comeuppance; thats why its not a good idea to be stupid. The school is a 24-hour lockdown, dare I compare to it to Gitmo, but it is. I was outside, sitting, just because she has a little absurd orange cart that she rides around in, she thinks it gives her the authority to scream at everybody to get in the cafeteria, the black Nazi! I don't like the cafeteria; tis too small; why must everybody be herded in there anyway now? Return, slept, awoken by BAHHHBAHHH BAHHH DOOO DOOOO DOO-DOO SUPERMARIO, hella embarrassed.

I took the bus to his house; I walked quite fast. The heat was doing an amazing job in sucking the moisture out of me to saturate my skin. More walking, more heat. I opened the gate the wrong way so it grinded like a puppy being killed. Into his air-conditioned haven. Tenchi Universe! Nostalgia. Everything was going well till his stealth-ninja brother caught us in an octopus position; I wonder how long he was standing there.

My husband... cannot... make... EasyMac. There's a reason its called EasyMac... mmm.. its not called YourGonnaHaveAHellaHardFuckingTimeMakingThisMac or something. Its.. easy. Dump, pour, dump again, stir.

J00stin came. His hair looked straighter. Weird gee-tar noises from the crypt, it was wailing in agony. His room; merch discussion amongst them, booking. I was at the opposite, erm, nook, scribbling pathetically. I don't know what happened; perhaps it went by too gradual for me to take notice. Maybe it was fear of his mother's decrees once she heard what we'd done; maybe I was jealous; maybe I wanted to kiss him but couldn't; maybe maybe maybe.... I sank again, foolish I. But I didn't do anything, I just sat there moronically, as if maybe a solution would come down from the sky in the form of a frying pan to hit and jolt me. I scribbled madness, my thoughts; wrenching 1/9 of my heart out on paper. Because thats what I do. Finally I could take no more, I was feeling the pressure behind my eyes intensify and start to falter so I took off.

He followed me. I wanted him to; I didn't want him to. The indecision of girls, no doubt. His face stunted by pained perplexity struck at me again, and again I felt less than nothing that I rained on his parade again. An apathetic departure on my part, I do believe tears marked my trail.

On the bus, trying to worm myself out of my disgraceful disposition (however late that was), the Asian guy with headphones said:

"Hi. You look sad."

Yes, how did you guess, I am quite miserable right now, stranger. I would like to say why, to you, stranger, as I will never see you again. I can find no one else to say it to, not even the closest of friends. Would they comprehend? Would you comprehend, for that matter? I made a stupid decision out of my stupid emotions, because I'm telling you stranger, this love is new to me. Its a different kind. Its a weird, odd, twisted, enchanted, inquiring, wrenching love. I'm adjusting to it, I'm getting used to it, but the unfortunate thing is as I'm doing this, I'm afraid I'm hurting the one I love in the process. Isn't that the most amusing and tragic irony you've ever heard of? To hurt the one you love.

But no. I said to him only, "I'm trying not to be so sad."

Carl's Jr, it was a ghost place, nobody was there, except for the employees but I bet even they were entertaining ideas of blowing that joint. Fast pace again. I turned. I saw lightning in the distance, in the dreary lovely gray sky to the east.

I wondered if I could eat it.

Wow. Your entries are quite amazing. I like to read them... And then re-read them. =)

I added you as a friend ages ago so I could find them again...

Anyway. Way to seem like a stalker, me.
» okidpokie on 2006-04-05 03:12:42

Profile
I like your profle pic.
» changbang on 2006-11-15 10:09:27

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